But where teh fork are teh forkz?

Not long back we could haz new cutleryz – yah: including forkz. Hole droor wuz full. Now full of knifez (maybe even moar den befoar) but no forkz. To has forkz lolshrink had to go over other hole side of bilding and get teh last wun from bored-room (only room in plaice wiv proper name: meating room hav no meat innit; assess room have no donkeyz; at least bored room hav right name).

I has bin tolled we no can has any moar cutlery, bcos not inpayshint service … But I is inpayshint – and the moar times i can has no forkz, the moar inpayshint I be!

An srsly, what happin 2 all forkz? It like sumwun take them, but that make no sense: why take forkz? An why leaf knifez an spoonz?

Yumans R strange. Or maybe it this cutlergeist I see moovie about: it could take forkz an stuffs. That make cutlergeist strange.

Anyway, 10 things that annoy me (in no particular order) …

1. People who denigrate virtuosity on the guitar, as though it’s ok to have chops if you’re a pianist or sax player or something, but if you play guitar all you should play are strummed chords and sloppy pentatonics
2. Cookie Monster Vocals
3. Manufactured plastic music
4. “Reality” TV
5. 3 + 4 >_<
6. Homeopathy, Naturopathy, Iridology, Reiki, Acupuncture, Deepak Chopra, Oprah Winfrey, Suzanne Somers, Dr Phil, Mike Adams … Woo in all its forms
7. Jenny McCarthy, Jim Carrey, Age of Autism, Meryl Dorey, the Australian Vaccination Network … anti-vaxxers in general.
8. Scientology
9. The fact I have to sleep every night – damn waste of time

Aaaaand …

10. The fact that hair metal is not recognised as the pre-eminent music force in the history of the world. \m/ \m/

It be nearly end of bizzeee week. Lots of payshins, a few dramas, and have to write letter telling bosses how lolshrink emergensee servis is going to change. They want other area payshins to come to us … DO NOT WANT. We have enuff busy already. No need moar.

An next week we gets new kittehs. They be small kittehs, sum of them never been kitteh shrinks befoar. At least mine have been kittehs for a couple yeers.

Ai bin reeding new study sez antidepressants no gud fur mild or moderate depresshun. It sillee study. It mite akshully be rite (kind off) butt is stoopid study, an conclushuns over-reech results. Out of 30 years’ studdys they look at only 6 studies of 718 peeples taking 2 antidepressins.

Meeningluz

Butt mite have sum truth to it …

Bai naow. Almos at wurk. Yay Caturday tomoro!!!1!1!1!!111!!

An i has just realeyes I is on teh call today. DO NOT WANT!

Just as well i alreddy has my work fone diverted 2 mai eyefone – so i figger dey hasn’t runged me. Yet.

Dere is wun fing dat puzzel lolshrink bout dis nu year: Evvybody is saying how pawful 2009 wuz and so 2010 can has be better. As far as i has remembering, dere was bad fings happen in 2009 but we can all has good stuff too. Anyways, i pretty sertin it not worser than other old years.

Or maybe that just me.

As some wise fulla (teh intert00bs iz not telling me who) once sed: “Any day above ground is a good day” – especially if dere is cheezburger

… or maybe slowly improving flat white coffees … Though I still can’t has rosettes/hearts yet. Moar practice needed.

… Maybe dat what we all is needing for dis new year: just moar practice. – And moar kittehs of course.

Here’s to 2010 – and also to 2009. ^_^ Just remembers:

What you bring? files for sayning? Put dem wiv ovvers over bai kitteh litter.

Wai U still hear? MOAR payshunz? LolShrink DO NOT WANT. Alreddy 60 on boardz an I spnt half day alreddy in teh mergensee depawtment. Ai no person come 2 mergensee an mayk staffs ankshus – dat not mean they crayzee in their heds. Ok i come down naow. … Dere every1 better. Ai can go home.

Now dinner bin eated, kittehs in beds. Taim to curl up with mai queen and bowl of cream*

*an bai bowl of cream ai mean singil malt skotch and rokky rowed headgehog slice (much better thn norml headghog – dey is too pointy)

kthxbai