I can has docyumint form ministree ov health. I has best open it on PC here at work in hostipal run by Local Health Network. That shuld wurk.

Wait, whut?

Wai I no can has file open?

I has “up too date” Microsoft Wurd 2003.

De-paw-tment ov Health file iz … 2007?

O well. Dey must have a solution. Right? I bet we can has upgrade to 2007, so wee can reed the documents form the ministree.

Right?!

The LHN’s support the 2003 version of Microsoft Word.

The DOH are now supplying documents in the 2007 version of Microsoft Word.

To open a 2007 in an earlier version of word you are required to download a free patch from the microsoft website.

http://office.microsoft.com/en-us/word-help/open-a-word-2007-document-in-an-earlier-version-of-word-HA010044473.aspx

Please action ASAP in order to reduce any future frustrations you may have with this issue.

Ai. Guessing. Not.

I wonders if wee get patch for our IE6 too…

It that time of yeah again: we can has getting checked to see if we is being safe and healthy at work. Nao Lolshrink does no it important to be safe, but confidence not being inspired by notice on board:

It say goal number won is to get 100% score – not to be safe.

How they keep Lolshrink safe? They put this on my wall:

Lolshrink defecates you not. It be “Safe Work Practice 10 – Using the Hole-puncher”. I guess I not do it like this any more:

To be being cereal, all this do is maek us all think okupashunal health ands safety is bad joke, instead of serious and important fing. Less of this silliness and more reel principles of safetys and we wood pay attenshun instead of riting silly blog posts about it …

Moar srsly, Lolshrink do not want byarsed infurmation, and even tho I wearz impervius-to-bullshit suit, I’s not stoopid enuff to bullshit myself. Teh drug companees onlee giv us fings because they shure it work. Hell, studees even done on it.

So Lolshrink haz taken pledge to not accept any pressents or noms.

Even cheesburger.

But where teh fork are teh forkz?

Not long back we could haz new cutleryz – yah: including forkz. Hole droor wuz full. Now full of knifez (maybe even moar den befoar) but no forkz. To has forkz lolshrink had to go over other hole side of bilding and get teh last wun from bored-room (only room in plaice wiv proper name: meating room hav no meat innit; assess room have no donkeyz; at least bored room hav right name).

I has bin tolled we no can has any moar cutlery, bcos not inpayshint service … But I is inpayshint – and the moar times i can has no forkz, the moar inpayshint I be!

An srsly, what happin 2 all forkz? It like sumwun take them, but that make no sense: why take forkz? An why leaf knifez an spoonz?

Yumans R strange. Or maybe it this cutlergeist I see moovie about: it could take forkz an stuffs. That make cutlergeist strange.

Not a flu, mind you,
though in the end I should probably do
the same thing
I should stay home and rest
until I feel I can give my best
But here’s the thing:

Lolshrink no can has enuff sick leave

Thankfully however, no-one has (so far) suggested
I “boost” my immune system with any of the many untested
remedies occupying the shelves of the supermarkets and pharmacies
Which for some reason promote the fallacies
that these tinctures of water with a tiny bit of herb
if taken might serve to reduce my lurg
so as to allow me to continue to plug the holes in the service that threaten to merge
and become one giant hole
as the dearth of resources enforces its stranglehold on my soul

At least I can has tomorrow off

We seem unable to remember that our immune system from June to September
Or perhaps a bit earlier like May or perhaps April
(And I assume my northern hemisphere friends will recall that our seasons are all the reverse from theirs)
is just as functional as it is in summer and will serve to kick out this viral intruder
If we just give it a few more days.
Really it’s stupider to believe that a self-limiting rhinovirus won’t leave until we “boost” a system that (unless you’re immunosuppressed) there’s no reason to believe needs any such assistance
Its persistence is such that if all you do is wait and rest
Soon enough, you’ll feel your best.

Here’s hoping.